Leading: ur doin' it wrong.

Tuesday night at the Jam Cellar must have been a little lead-heavy, because I got out on the floor and got asked to dance almost every song. There were a lot of newbies and a few pretty decent people in from out of town, plus Chance and Swifty, who both fall in the category of Completely Awesome.

I ended have a lot of nice but generally unremarkable dances during the time I was out on the floor and not hiding in the side room squeezing some extremely sweaty practice time in. One Very Nice Guy in particular, though, did something during our dance that just drives me insane. Now, in an attempt to take the edge off of the cattiness that will follow, I feel the need to point out that most of the dance was pleasant, he has a swingout that is better than many, and he seems to be a competent lead in general.

However, during the dance he attempted to lead what I can only assume must be a simple move, but I had absolutely no clue what he was on about. None. Even after it must have became clear to him that I just did not understand what he was trying to lead, he just kept trying to lead the same thing, in the exact same way, for multiple 8s, with me awkwardly stepping back and forth in weird semi-closed position without even the small blessing of a little breathing room so I could just vamp on the music a little until the Mystery Move was over. Afterwards, I thought "Gee, that was awkward. Glad it's over."

Then he did it again.

Same 'move' (I think...hard to tell when you don't know what it's supposed to be), same awkwardness, same me being extremely confused. I believe there may even have been a third and a fourth attempt, but at that point I was just too flabbergasted to count.

I don't claim to be the best dancer in the world. Hell, most of the time I'll play the modesty card and claim that I'm not actually all that good. But I have been dancing regularly for 9 years now, and I've become--at the very least--a solidly competent follow who can work her way through just about anything if it's lead clearly. I give newbies the benefit of the doubt by guessing what they're trying to lead and helping myself through it a smidge to keep the dance moving nicely when necessary. (Debating whether or not that's the right thing to do is something for another post, but most of the time, I find it makes everyone's night more pleasant.)

So if I don't get it at least enough to fake my way through, especially after multiple phrases, you're not fucking leading it right.


I don't mind when someone is trying out a new move, and the timing is a bit off the first time, so they do it again later in the dance. I do this with moves and styling all the time. But to have something be so completely incomprehensible, to the point where I can't even figure out what the move is supposed to be, and then to keep doing it over and over again? No bueno. It's uncomfortable for me, and it must be uncomfortable for the lead, so why continue?

None of the explanations I can come up with are very nice. Either he assumed that he had led it correctly and that I was dense, so he repeated it for my benefit, he was trying to correct his lead so that he could lead it in the future, or he just didn't notice that there was anything wrong. I think the last one is the saddest of the possibilities, and the first the most insulting to me, but whatever the reason, I hope I don't have to deal with this situation again any time in the near future.